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Anxiety in kids is more common than many people think. It can show up in small ways like stomach aches before school or in bigger ways like avoiding social events or getting upset over small changes. As a parent, you may feel unsure about how to respond. The good news is: there are simple ways to help.
This guide will walk you through gentle and effective ways to support your child. You don’t need to be a therapist. You just need to be a steady, calm, and loving presence.
Understand what anxiety looks like in kids
Anxiety doesn’t always look like fear. Sometimes it shows up as anger, tears, tummy aches, or refusing to do things. A child may not say “I feel anxious.” Instead, they might say “I don’t want to go” or “My stomach hurts.”
Some common signs of anxiety in kids:
- Trouble sleeping
- Avoiding school or social situations
- Crying often or getting angry quickly
- Asking the same questions over and over
- Needing constant reassurance
- Complaining about headaches or stomach pain
These signs don’t always mean anxiety. But if you notice them often, it’s good to pay attention.
Stay calm and present
When your child is anxious, your first job is to stay calm. You may feel upset or confused, but showing your child that you are steady and not worried helps them feel safe.
If they see you panicking or getting frustrated, it can make their anxiety worse. Stay close. Speak gently. Let them know you’re there.
Try saying:
- “I’m here with you.”
- “You’re safe.”
- “We’ll figure this out together.”
Listen without trying to fix everything
When a child is anxious, they don’t always need you to fix the problem right away. They often just want to feel heard.
Let them talk. Don’t interrupt or jump to advice. Simply listen.
You can say:
- “Tell me what’s bothering you.”
- “That sounds hard.”
- “It’s okay to feel nervous sometimes.”
This helps your child feel understood. It also teaches them that their feelings are important.
Name the feeling
Sometimes kids don’t know what they are feeling. You can help by gently naming the emotion.
Try saying:
- “It seems like you’re feeling worried.”
- “Are you feeling scared about something?”
- “Is this making you anxious?”
When kids learn to name their emotions, it helps them feel more in control. It also builds emotional awareness, which is an important life skill.
Teach calming strategies
Kids with anxiety need tools they can use when they start to feel overwhelmed. These tools are like a first aid kit for emotions.
Here are a few simple strategies:
- Deep breathing: Ask your child to breathe in slowly through the nose and out through the mouth. Do it together. Count slowly to three.
- Muscle relaxation: Ask your child to squeeze their fists tight for five seconds, then relax. Try this with shoulders, feet, and legs too.
- Drawing or coloring: Art helps kids express what they can’t put into words.
- Movement: A short walk, stretching, or jumping jacks can reduce stress fast.
These tools don’t fix anxiety in one day, but with practice, they make a big difference.
Build a predictable routine
Kids feel safer when they know what’s coming next. A clear, predictable routine helps reduce anxiety.
Try to keep regular times for:
- Meals
- Sleep
- School or activities
- Playtime
- Quiet time or bedtime
You don’t need to plan every minute. Just keep a flow that your child can count on. You can even use simple drawings or a daily chart to show what happens next.
Avoid over-reassuring
When kids are anxious, they often ask the same questions again and again. You may feel tempted to keep answering. But too much reassurance can actually make anxiety stronger.
Instead, gently remind your child:
- “We’ve talked about this already.”
- “I believe in you. You can handle this.”
- “Remember what we practiced when you felt worried before?”
This shows them that they can trust themselves, not just your answers.
Encourage small steps
Avoiding fears can make anxiety worse over time. Instead of pushing too hard, help your child take small, safe steps toward the thing they’re afraid of.
Let’s say your child is scared to go to a birthday party.
You could try:
- Looking at photos of the place together.
- Talking about what will happen at the party.
- Going to the party for just 10 minutes.
- Rewarding your child for trying, not just for staying.
Every step forward counts. Celebrate the effort, not just the result.
Use bedtime as a calm moment
Many anxious thoughts show up at bedtime. The house is quiet, the lights are low, and the child’s mind starts to wander.
Create a calm bedtime routine. This can include:
- A warm bath
- Reading a gentle story
- Listening to soft music
- Talking about the best part of the day
Avoid screens at least one hour before bed. They can make sleep harder.
Know when to get extra help
Sometimes anxiety is too strong to manage on your own. If anxiety gets in the way of school, friendships, or daily life, don’t wait too long to ask for help.
You can talk to:
- Your child’s teacher
- Your family doctor
- A child therapist or counselor
Getting help is a brave and loving thing to do. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you care.
Final thoughts
Learning how to help kids with anxiety takes time and patience. You don’t need to do everything perfectly. You just need to show up with love, listen, and keep trying.
Every child is different. Some need more time, more quiet, or more reassurance. Others need tools to manage big feelings. With your support, your child can learn to understand and manage their anxiety.
If you’re looking for more support, we invite you to visit our blog page for Parents. There you’ll find more guides and we have free stories in Storyender that teach kids about feelings, kindness, and how to handle life’s challenges.
Also, read our story “Never Stop”, a heartwarming tale about following dreams, even when others say you can’t. It’s free to read and can inspire your child to believe in themselves.
Together, we can help our children grow up strong, kind, and confident—one small step at a time.
